Your Kink is Normal, Promise


by Randall S. Frederick

“Did you see the last episode of Mr. Robot?”

“Yeah, it was good.”

“Oh my gosh, that last scene, right? With the pregnant woman getting tied up with silk scarves? And the German guy? And the blindfold?”

“You are broken. Someone messed you up. That was the grossest thing ever.”

That was a real conversation I had this week with one of my friends. She called to talk and catch up and… well… me being me, the conversation turned to sex. If you haven’t seen the scene I’m talking about, you should watch Mr. Robot on USA Network. It’s a great show – good writing, good good story, good acting, good visuals, and just the right balance of show and tell to make you —

Oh, who am I kidding. The show is great, but thrives on atypical behavior, antisocial tendencies, and nonconventional sex. Like a pregnant woman conversationally telling the guy in her life to tie her up then put a ballgag in her mouth as they make dinner plans. Which he does. 

To my knowledge, this was the first time cable television has ever shown a pregnant woman asking for sex. Much more asking to be tied up. Much more asking for a ball gag. As she discusses dinner plans. My brain felt like it was going to short-circuit, I was so happy. Early pregnancies, brunettes, and blindfolds are things that can turn me on (much to the shock and horror of some of my friends! haha!). What can I say? It’s a post-50 Shades of Grey world.

In an effort to normalize your own kinks, I’m listing over 400 of them here with tropes and themes that show up in sexual interests. This list is designed to inspire you, but remember: for every one that you laugh at or think is gross, there is someone out there who thinks the same of the ones you find deeply arousing. These are examples. This is not a comprehensive list since human sexuality is multivarient and sometimes a good breeze makes you aroused by an idea you would otherwise shrug at. And, as will be obvious, each one of these can take on different forms and combine or . For example, if your kink is jewelry does that mean visiting a sales counter? Wearing the jewelry as a symbol of “ownership” by someone? Is it “jewelry” in general or a certain kind — like a wedding ring? Let each one of these, as you read them, sit and develop for a second before moving on. Allow your mind to play with the ideas here to better understand what kinds of thoughts are involved.

The List

  1. Abuse (sexual, emotional, and/or violent childhood abuse; past abusive relationships; character A’s abuse drives character B into arms of character C; the wounded child as an adult archetype)
  2. Just being alive and being in a good place in life
  3. Abduction as seduction (beloved captives)
  4. Accidental stimulation (proximity and friction; involuntary arousal; situations of adrenaline and reflexes)
    1. Acne (appearance of greasy skin, cysts on the face, pustules NA
  5. Adrenaline and crises (pre-, mid-, or post-crisis sex; speed-freaks or adrenaline junkies; near-death experiences; the shadow of impending death–hours, minutes, or moments; see also Situational engineering)
  6. Age differences (e.g., older man/younger man pairing)
  7. Age regression (mental and/or physical regression; childlike behavior caused by brain damage; characters met before in the past; high school AUs; time-travel)
  8. Aliens make them have sex (fuck or die; fertility rituals; intoxication; taking one for the team)
  9. Alpha males (alpha/beta male pairings; alpha/alpha pairings; het alpha males)
  10. Amazons and strong women (warrior women; women as soldiers, law enforcement figures, or leaders; goddesses; tough, butch, or muscled women; lesbians; quasi-masculine characteristics in general, such as a boyish body type: slim, athletic, and small-breasted; forcefulness or brusqueness)
  11. Amnesia
  12. Anal penetration with foreign objects
  13. Anal sex (face to face, from behind, bottom riding top; standing; bent over desk; gay or straight; girl-on-boy with strap-on; girl-on-girl with strap-on)
  14. Anal/butt plugs (during sex; worn under clothes in public)
  15. Angst (see Emotional themes)
  16. Animalistic behaviors and characteristics, dominant (snarling; sniffing; scent-marking or biting; other claiming acts; territoriality; predatory stalking; cuffing; forcing the partner’s neck down; claws and other features)
  17. Animalistic behaviors and characteristics, submissive (feral characters or behavior; domesticated pet behavior such as sitting at owner’s foot and cheeking their thigh; purring; licking; characters objectified as animals, e.g., ponyboys)
  18. Animal themes or fetishization (physical transformation, e.g., animagi or werewolves; animalistic features; hirsutism as a fetish; tentacle sex; quasi animal forms such as centaurs, merfolk, intelligent dragons; pets, wild or domesticated; familiars; men showing affection toward animals, e.g., holding kittens, or nuzzling their horses; see also Otherness)
  19. Anonymous sex (clubbing; glory-holes; alley sex; alien fertility rituals; one-night stands)
  20. Anti-heroes (sympathetic villains; villains with principles; noble demons; enemies who keep their word)
  21. Aphrodisiacs (see Intoxication and altered states)
  22. Aristocracy (aristocratic behaviors, characteristics, and/or identity; chivalry and noblesse oblige; royal blood; elegance or effeteness; dignity; royal courts or castles; imperial cultures; Greco-Roman classicism; dynastic families; gentlemen; aristocrat pairings with houseboys, stable-boys, or secretaries)
  23. Asphyxiation (asphyxiophilia; autoerotic asphyxiation; scarfing; choking; breath play; smothering with the buttocks)
  24. Ass-play and/or fetishization (ass lifted in the air for penetration; emphasized by harness or blue jeans; ass slapping; spreading cheeks; rimming; booty worship)
  25. Attention (singling someone out; treating someone specially in front of others; making a point of showing respect to or interest in someone who doesn’t usually receive it; observing, studying, or analyzing someone to understand them)
  26. AUs (alternate characterizations and situations; sex between alternates of one character or between different characters; alternates as catalysts for realization of desire; role reversal; darker mirror universe characters; mistaken identity)
  27. Auctions (slave or slave charity)
  28. Bad boys (punks, rebels; see also Rogues)
  29. Bad girls (dirty girls; naughty schoolgirls; femme fatales)
  30. Bar and club scenes (dancing, cruising, etc)
  31. Barebacking
  32. Baths and water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; bath houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools; see also Washing; Shower sex)
  33. BDSM
  34. Beards or stubble
  35. Beauty (movie-star looks; unearthly beauty; a character who is highly desired by many others; beauty as a barrier to approachability or as a cause for comparison and insecurity)
  36. Begging or offering (begging or pleading for mercy, for sexual release, to be taken; a character offering himself; neediness)
  37. Beloved enemies
  38. Beloved hostages (royal, diplomatic, or business hostages; see also Abduction as seduction)
  39. Bestiality (see Animal themes)
  40. Big guy/little guy (also seme/uke)
  41. Big men (tall, broad, muscled; giants; Conan or Fezzik characters; see Warriors)
  42. Biological imperative (pon farr or mating drive; being in heat)
  43. Polysexuality
  44. Biting (marking, nipping, chewing)
  45. Blindness (see Voyeurism and vision themes)
  46. Blood (fetishization of wounds; blood-play; blood as lube; vampirism)
  47. Blow-jobs (oral sex, fellatio)
  48. Body fetishes not listed elsewhere (ears, muscular arms, breasts, bald heads, collarbones, cheekbones, bare feet/chest/stomach, etc; fatness, plumpness, softness; skin, e.g., weathered, tanned, soft)
  49. Body modification (geek-to-jock makeovers; physical enhancements such as wetwear; alien transformations; scarification and piercing; forced feminization or castration; see also Otherness)
  50. Body-painting or inkbrushing on someone’s skin
  51. Body swap
  52. Bodyguard scenarios (See also Protectiveness)
  53. Bondage
  54. Bonds (telepathic or empathic; psychic links; mating or soul bonds)
  55. Bottoming
  56. Boys (pretty boys; bishounen/bishonen; boyish types; pocket-sized cuties; puppies; Persian Boy characters; houseboys or stable-boys; toyboys)
  57. Branding (erotic or non-erotic)
  58. Brainwashing (victim being aware or unaware; sexual or non-sexual outcome)
  59. Breath (as a caress; hitching or ragged; indrawn breath or gasps; sighs)
  60. Brothels
  61. Bruises and other wounds
  62. Bukkake
  63. Canon (canon elements/canonicity heightens characterization or scenario)
  64. Cartoonish transformations (Flattenings, inflations, etc)
  65. Castration (full or partial; castratos/eunuchs)
  66. Catalysts (e.g., character A shows interest in character B, which makes character C realize how hot B is; or other catalytic events bringing about such an epiphany)
  67. Celibacy (e.g., someone’s celibacy as a challenge to seduction)
  68. Charisma (see Powers of attraction)
  69. Chastity devices
  70. Cheating partner(s)
  71. Childish characters (brats; little princesses)
  72. Childlike characteristics (innocence and simplicity; trustingness; truth-speaking, playfulness; boyishness and mischievousness; wounded child characters; orphans)
  73. Children (i.e., as their presence reflects on a character, e.g., tough men gently holding babies; men who are/aren’t good with kids; devoted single dads; Ripley characters/scenarios; pregnancy)
  74. Cinderella stories (rescuing someone from servitude or cruel family; going from rags to riches; Pretty Woman scenarios; fairy-tale romances in general)
  75. Claiming or establishing ownership (private or public; by gesture, word, or ritual; with sex; with a collar and leash; with scent-marking or by biting)
  76. Clams (i.e., characters who are stoic, terse, repressed; see also Talking and communication issues; Silence)
  77. Climax (e.g., described in detail)
  78. Closeted partner(s) (see also Orientation issues; Society)
  79. Clothes fetishization (of any kind, e.g., uniforms; leather gear; worn blue jeans; thigh-highs; stilettos; leather jackets; tuxedos or GQ wear; constricting or modest clothes; boxer-briefs; going commando, tight and shiny clothes)
  80. Clumsiness (awkwardness; overeagerness; during sex or in general)
  81. Cock and/or ball fetishization (uncircumcised cocks, circumcised cocks; large cocks; heavy balls; durable erection; deep dicking; very hard/rigid erection; trouser bulges)
  82. Cock and/or ball torture (whipping, stretching, catheters, etc)
  83. Cock bondage (cock rings; harnesses and straps; leather ropework)
  84. Cock worship
  85. Collars (slave)
  86. Come-marking (letting it dry visibly on the skin)
  87. Coming in one’s pants
  88. Coming in or on one’s partner (in ass or mouth; in hair; on body; on face, i.e., facial)
  89. Coming out of the closet (see also Gayness; Orientation issues; Witnesses)
  90. Coming quickly (premature ejaculation or knee-jerk reflex response)
  91. Coming without being touched
  92. Competence
  93. Conditioning (taming or breaking a character; training; brainwashing; Stockholm syndrome)
  94. Condoms
  95. Confessions (revelation of love/desire; of other secrets; truth or dare games. deathbed confessions; revealing truths when feverish)
  96. Conflicts and challenges (war and combat in general; sieges; Die Hard scenarios; jousting; gladiatorial games; wrestling and sparring; duels of honor; bets and sports competitions; romantic rivalries; seduction viewed as a challenge; misunderstandings and fights; break-ups; traded insults; stormy relationships; family strife; personality clashes; cultural differences; philosophical disagreements)
  97. Courtesans or geishas
  98. Courting and dating (courtship rituals; dating; blind dates; personal ads; traditional gestures such as flowers and chocolates; unusual gestures designed to win someone’s attention; showing off or displaying prowess; rivals seeking a character’s favor; see also Seduction)
  99. Cross-dressing (forced or voluntary; drag queens or transvestites; see also Gender themes)
  100. Crossovers (characters thrust into other universes; canon universes merged; sex between characters played by same actor)
  101. Crush or unrequited love
  102. Crying, sobbing (erotic and non-erotic)
  103. Cuckolding
  104. Cuddling (see Touch)
  105. Cunnilingus
  106. Cyber themes (cybersex; virtual reality scenarios; e-mail/chatroom interaction, including secret admirer scenarios; see also Techno)
  107. Daddy themes (fetishization and role-play; difficult father-son relationships; sugar daddies; paternalism in general)
  108. Damsel in distress scenarios (danger and rescue; damsel character need not be female)
  109. Dancing
  110. Dating (see Courting and dating)
  111. Death (fatal illnesses; heroic death; character death in general; survivor guilt and grief; ghosts and haunting; vampires; Thanatos as the personification of death; Thanatos as the death wish; death orgasms; gothic aesthetics; immortality or aging as it relates to death; reincarnation)
  112. Deep-throating
  113. Delayed gratification
  114. Depilation (waxing, shaving)
  115. Desperation to pee (intentional holding, being forced to hold, unable to find a restroom, being denied a restroom; including all body motions and verbal comments associated with holding one’s pee). Love
  116. Dildos (dildo gags; harnesses; strap-ons; ritual phalluses)
  117. Disabilities or infirmities (limp; damaged or missing limb; chronic pain; deafness; stutters)
  118. Discipline or punishment
  119. Discomfort during sex (rough edge of a table as counterpoint to pleasure; cold stone versus hot flesh; position is uncomfortable at first but then becomes perfect; penetration is painful, then pleasurable)
  120. Disorders (phobias; neuroses; obsessive-compulsive disorder; see also Insanity; Emotional themes)
  121. Docking
  122. Domesticity (moving in together; nesting; shopping; building a family or meeting the family; getting a cat or dog; kidfic)
  123. Dominance and submission (See also Submission; Servitude; Master and slave, etc)
  124. Double penetration (anal, vaginal, or oral)
  125. Drugs (recreational drug use; Viagra; self-destructive addictions; addiction as a by-product of pain management; alcoholism and sobriety)
  126. Dystopias (apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic worlds; alien invasions; pandemics; computers take over; settings in Hell, or earth becomes Hell)
  127. Ejaculate, come (heavy loads; pre-ejaculate slickness; messy orgasms)
  128. Emotional themes, emo-kink (angst; wallows; darkfic; emotional damage; psychological trauma; tragic pasts; broken characters; guilt and shame; mental instability; sadness and grief; abandonment or fear of same; characters who can’t go home again; fear in general; nightmares; loneliness; broken-heartedness; failure; insecurity; self-hatred; self-mutilation such as secret cutting; suicide; see also Insanity)
  129. Endearments (see Names)
  130. Enemas
  131. Enemies working together
  132. Ensembles (elite teams of explorers, spies, law enforcement figures, etc; sentai; military squadrons; skilled teams operating like clockwork, such as when pulling off a heist; bands of rebels; families; surrogate families; outcasts, e.g., freaks and geeks; carnival troupes; motley characters thrown together by fate; alternatives to society e.g., Robin Hood and his Merry Men, Peter Pan and the Lost Boys; see also Witnesses)
  133. Erotic torture
  134. Exhibitionism
  135. Exoticism (fetishization of Far Eastern culture and aesthetics, which may be adapted and generalized for fictional worlds; e.g., harems and harem culture; veils; silk clothes; Turkish baths; pleasure pavilions; royal courts; lush gardens; island paradises; opium dens; casbahs and bazaars; tents; imperial royal figures such as sheikhs or sultans; köçek troupes; court figures such as dancers and storytellers; floor pillows; furs or skins as rugs or bedding; feasts; tapestries; Persian rugs; oil lamps; wild animals as pets; opulence, decadence, and sensuality in general)
  136. Exposure (with or without eroticism; feeling physically exposed, such as with legs open; a woman’s shirt being opened to expose her breasts; characters being forced to undress in public; someone opening a door on people having sex)
  137. Face-fucking (blow-job)
  138. Face-sitting (straddling for blow-job or cunnilingus, or smothering the face with the buttocks as a form of dominance)
  139. Fake rake (a man falsely rumored to be promiscuous, who isn’t; romance novel term)
  140. Falling (falling from grace; going bad; turning to the Dark Side; Faustian deals; succumbing to temptation or addiction; degradation and descent in general)
  141. Fantasies (shared or solitary; role-playing)
  142. Feederism
  143. Feminine terms used for males (e.g., calling a man a bitch, calling his ass a pussy; using condescending endearments such as honey or precious)
  144. Femmes (effeminacy)
  145. Fetishes for objects not listed elsewhere (shoes, cigarettes, lipstick, coffee cups, eyeglasses, motorcycles, canes, etc)
  146. Finer-fucking (as preparation, foreplay, accompaniment, or main act)
  147. First times (first time between two individuals; losing virginity/cherry; first time doing a particular act; first time with a particular gender)
  148. Fish out of water characters/scenarios
  149. Fisting (anal or vaginal)
  150. Flirting (conscious or unconscious; with glances or touches; banter)
  151. Food (feeding one’s partner; romantic dinners; food as foreplay or flirting; food used during sex, such as whipped cream or chocolate)
  152. Forbidden pleasures (love affairs or trysts; in general, wanting someone or something that’s expressly forbidden)
  153. Forced feminization (see also Gender themes)
  154. Forced or reluctant nudity, with the partner of the opposite gender remaining clothed (Clothed Female, Nude Male; or Clothed Male, Nude Female).
  155. Forced orgasm
  156. Foreplay
  157. Friction or frottage (naked or clothed; masturbatory or with partner; cocks rubbing together; tribadism; intercrural sex; someone rubbing off on sheets while giving head or being fucked; itchiness and scratching; chafing clothes; friction while on horseback or riding a motorcycle; accidental contact)
  158. Friendship and affection (gestures of friendship; epic friendships a la Gilgamesh/Enkidu or Alexander/Hephaistion; friendship as pre-slash)
  159. Friendship sex or buddy-sex (fuck buddies)
  160. Fucking machines
  161. Fuck or die
  162. Future fic
  163. Gags (ball-gags, scarves, mouth bits, etc)
  164. Gainerism
  165. Gayness (self-identification as gay; gay pride; queer culture; homophobia; see also Orientation issues)
  166. Geeks and nebbishes (Peter Parker or Clark Kent characters; computer geeks; lab rats; nerds; intellectuals; personal secretaries; beta males; sidekicks; men in glasses; oddballs and eccentrics)
  167. Geek/jock pairings
  168. Gender themes (gender confusion; sex changes; genderfucks; hermaphrodites; cross-dressing or other forms of genderbending; drag queens and transvestites; transsexualism; androgyny; forced feminization; butch/femme; tomboys)
  169. Gentleness (tenderness; kindness; concern; gentle natures; characters who display sensitivity to fearful children, animals, the weak, etc; gentle responses at unexpected moments)
  170. Getaways (romantic weekends; tropical vacations; ski chalets)
  171. Giantesses/Shrinking man/Size related fetishes
  172. Girls (dancing girls; cat-girls; schoolgirls; bishoujo; magical girls; cheerleaders; see also Bad Girls; Good girls)
  173. Going native (see also Primitivism)
  174. Golden showers
  175. Good boys (law enforcement figures; gentlemen; characters who prompt a desire to corrupt or provoke them, or to get them dirty; priests; prim schoolteachers; angels; nice guys; virtue and nobility in general)
  176. Good girls (nice girls; daddy’s girls; schoolmarms; nuns)
  177. Grunge (dirty and sweaty, needing a shower; actual mud/dirt elements in a sex scene)
  178. Guns and gun-play (guns as fetish objects; gun-battles as flirting or foreplay; guns used for sexual penetration; games of Russian Roulette; see also Military fetishization)
  179. Hair or fur fetishization (buzz-cuts; long hair; hair-grabbing during blow-jobs; coming in someone’s hair; pubic hair; hairy chests; underarm hair; hair all over e.g., Wookies, werewolves, yeti, etc; see also Animal themes and fetishization)
  180. Hand fetishization (big strong hands; steady hands; rough knuckles; calluses; fists clenching in sheets)
  181. Hand-jobs
  182. Happiness (startled joy; passionate gratitude; ecstasy; comfort; happy endings)
  183. Harems or seraglios
  184. Healing or comfort sex (post-rape or abuse; affirming life in the midst of death; captives turning to one another for comfort; one character soothing another who is deeply upset or fearful)
  185. Heat (hot lazy summer days; steamrooms; sweat-slick skin; tempers rising with the heat; urgent fucking a la Body Heat)
  186. Hero/sidekick pairings
  187. Heroes (knights and champions; superheroes; samurai or ronin; super-soldiers; ordinary characters becoming heroes and characters overcoming fear with bravery; rebel/underground heroes; saviors and liberators; avengers; see also Heroic gestures; Good boys)
  188. Heroic gestures (nobility; self-sacrifice; risking self to save someone’s life; Gift of the Magi scenarios; taking the partner’s place for torture; trading sexual favors to guards to procure food or medicine for partner; heroic deaths)
  189. Historical and period settings
  190. Homosocial environments (i.e., all-male or all-female, such as prisons or harems)
  191. Hot spots (a special spot that make someone crazy when stimulated, such as the vampire spot on the neck, the backs of the knees, the inner arms, navel, or earlobes)
  192. Human furniture
  193. Humiliation (erotic or non-erotic)
  194. Humor (funny banter, screwball comedy, etc)
  195. Humor as a mask (characters who hide pain behind humor)
  196. Hurt/comfort (emotional and/or physical, including torture of all kinds and degrees, and any form of caretaking)
  197. Ice princesses, snow queens (cold characters who may or may not succumb to melting; need not be female)
  198. Immobilization and/or helplessness
  199. Impotence
  200. Imprisonment, erotic (cages, cells, closets, coffins, etc)
  201. Imprisonment, other (see Prison scenarios)
  202. Incest (including brother/sister complex)
  203. Insanity (involuntary or false committal; characters appearing insane when their beliefs or fears are real; sedation and restraints; asylums; dementia; therapy)
  204. Intelligence (quick wit; street smarts; Machiavellian cleverness; Sherlock Holmesian deductive powers; geniuses; experts; criminal masterminds; see also Special powers and skills; Geeks and nebbishes)
  205. Intercrural or interfemoral sex (i.e., thrusting cock between partner’s thighs)
  206. Intimacy
  207. Intoxication and altered states (aphrodisiacs; drugs or alcohol; sex pollen/spores; substances or devices that create arousal, affection, or dependency; speaking or showing the truth while intoxicated; visionary states)
  208. Jewelry (decorative and/or symbolic; wedding rings; earrings; slave bracelets; piercings)
  209. Journeys (odysseys and quests; time-travel; being lost and trying to get home; road trips; pioneering and exploration, including space travel)
  210. Kissing, necking
  211. Knives and knife-play
  212. Lady and the Tramp pairings (see also Rough behavior; Rogues)
  213. Latex perfect masks and bodysuits that allow easy impersonation
  214. Lesbians or dykes (includes lesbianism as erotica for men)
  215. Loss of control (emotional, physical, situational, erotic, etc)
  216. Love and passion (falling in love; love at first sight; one true love; eternal love; unconditional love; star-crossed lovers; tempestuous passions)
  217. Love/hate relationship
  218. Magical themes (love spells; magical characters or creatures; magical lands or settings; predictions; curses; possession; fairytales; magical girls; see also Special powers and skills)
  219. Make-overs
  220. Make-up and/or nail polish on men (see also Gender themes)
  221. Make-up sex or reunions
  222. Menservants
  223. Marriage (of arrangement, convenience, or necessity; accidental marriage; group marriage; traditional marriage or partnership ceremony)
  224. Masks
  225. Masochism
  226. Masquerade (a character pretends to be someone else, or something he’s not, e.g., a nebbishy nerd must convince goons he’s a ruthless arms dealer or assassin; a cop goes undercover in prison; a spy infiltrates an agency; a good guy pretends to be his AU evil twin; Cyrano scenarios)
  227. Massage
  228. Master and slave (erotic or romantic slavery, or otherwise; see Power issues)
  229. Masturbation (solitary or as performance)
  230. Medical scenarios and fetishization
  231. Messiness and markers of arousal (mussed hair; flushed cheeks; swollen mouth; displaying bite marks or hickeys; clothes in disarray; sprawling; come-spattered skin)
  232. Military fetishization (competence; guns, knives, and other weapons; uniforms, dog-tags, thigh-holsters, etc; authority; soldiers and rebels; paramilitary figures such as cops; brothers in arms as a romantic concept)
  233. Mindfuck, mindgames
  234. Mirrors
  235. Mistaken for gay (character A concludes that character B is gay based on spurious evidence, e.g., overhearing and misinterpreting a conversation; may also believe that character has a crush on him; or an ensemble believes two characters are gay and together; other similar scenarios)
  236. Misunderstood (i.e., he’s not really ____, he’s just misunderstood)
  237. MPREG (male pregnancy)
  238. Multiple orgasms (See also Sexual appetite or excess)
  239. Multiple partners (sequential/serial sexual encounters; orgies, gang-bangs, or group sex; puppy-pile cuddling; see also Sexual appetite or excess)
  240. Mummification and/or sensory deprivation
  241. Muscled bodies
  242. Music (singing; playing an instrument such as guitar or piano; composers; rock stars or bands; groupies; song lyrics)
  243. Names and address (endearments: sweetheart, honey, mine; nicknames: chief, kid, sport; terms that assert power: boy, cunt; insulting terms that may hide some affection: monkey-boy, Your Worshipfulness, you big furry oaf; using someone’s name as a sign of intimacy; using only formal modes of address: Sir, Major)
  244. Nautical themes and fetishization (ships and the sea; rum, sodomy, and the lash; cabin boys; navy/pirate conflicts; colonialism; desert islands and buried treasure)
  245. Neck fetishization (nape of the neck, throat, hickeys, etc)
  246. Nipple play or torture
  247. Noise (screaming or yelling during sex; whimpering or sobbing; purring, growling; slurping or moaning enthusiastically during blow-jobs)
  248. Non-consensual or semi-consensual sex (sexual extortion; bribery; reluctant or ambivalent partner; bondage and struggle; no means yes; other consent issues)
  249. Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one’s lip(s))
  250. Orgasm denial
  251. Orientation issues (confusion; discovery and coming out; self-hatred; two-beer queers; homosexual panic)
  252. Original characters (i.e., pairing someone with an OMC or OFC)
  253. Otherness and outsiders (alien identity or transformation; mutants; demons and angels; hermaphrodites; eccentrics; elves and other magical beings; exoticism; half-human hybrids, e.g., the offspring of humans with demons, vampires, aliens, elves; racial difference in general; clones; twins; see also Secret identity; Special powers; Exoticism)
  254. Pain (with or without pleasure/endorphins)
  255. Pampering (spoiling someone rotten with gifts or money; physical pampering such as massage and grooming; giving someone a novel or unexpected degree of emotional or sexual care; catering to someone’s every whim, e.g., someone who is in the hospital; harems as settings for pampering)
  256. Paraphilias not listed elsewhere
  257. Patience (e.g., showing patience toward a character who is brain-damaged or who is struggling bitterly with being recently crippled; or to a character prone to irrational fear or outbursts; patience with children; see also Gentleness)
  258. Peeing oneself (deliberately, accidentally; peeing one’s lower body attire, not including peeing on the upper body, nor peeing in the toilet or in acceptable areas).
  259. Penance or reform (bad boy turns good; evil seeks to change; performing acts of atonement or restitution; self-mortification; martyrdom; selflessness; apologies or apology sex)
  260. Physical imperfections (scars or burns; acne pits; heaviness; outsized features such as ears or nose; jolie-laide/ugly-beautiful characters)
  261. Physical responses (face or ears burning; little hairs lifting on the scalp or neck; gut tightening; pulse quickening or missing a beat; lashes fluttering or lids growing heavy; mouth coming open; dick or pussy throbbing)
  262. Pillow biting
  263. Playing hard to get
  264. Ponies (human ponies)
  265. Pornography (magazines and videos; character was previously a porn star or fluffer)
  266. Possession (by alien entity, spirits, or another person)
  267. Possessiveness or jealousy
  268. Pot bellies
  269. Power issues (inequities in beauty, rank, or class; power games; BDSM; power reversals; sheikhs, sultans, princes, and other royal figures; teacher/student pairings; magical powers; abuse of power; blackmail; romantic slavery; liege/lord pairings; issues of respect; sexual scenarios such as a dominant character giving his partner to others to use, or a character kneeling beneath a desk and blowing someone who’s on the phone)
  270. Power issues, sociopolitical (colonialism; alien invasion or rule; institutionalized slavery; totalitarian states and rebellion; powerful secret societies, e.g., the Illuminati or Watcher-style organizations)
  271. Powers of attraction (characters such as sirens and Veelas; vampiric thrall; pheromones; magnetic and charismatic characters in general)
  272. Pranks
  273. Predator/prey pairings
  274. Preferential treatment (e.g., making a point of showing respect towards someone when no one else does; showing a soft side only to them)
  275. Pretending to be gay (cops or spies going undercover; a charade to deflect unwanted attention from a stranger; a ruse to avoid ritual marriage to aliens)
  276. Primitivism (dropping technologically advanced characters into exotic/primitive settings; medieval societies either magical or non-magical; nomadic and desert cultures; warrior cultures; jungle tribes; the noble savage; Androcles/lion pairings; the social intimacies of tribes/camps; bacchanals; culture clash/shock; unusual practices/rituals, e.g., feats of skill and strength or marriage as treaty; schizo-tech cultures, as when a seemingly feudal pre-industrial society has high-tech elements; see also Roughnecks; Animal themes and fetishization; Animalistic behaviors or characteristics; Exoticism)
  277. Prison scenarios (prison rape and/or protection; cruel guards; punishment; hard labor; deprivation; prisoners of war; camps and barracks; false imprisonment)
  278. Prizes (characters who are eroticized as prizes or spoils of war)
  279. Prostate pleasure
  280. Prostitutes (call-girls and hookers; rent boys and hustlers; escorts; paying one’s way through school with sideline hooking; juvenile past on the streets)
  281. Protectiveness (physically or verbally defending someone; caretaking in general; big guy/little guy pairings; bodyguard scenarios; mysterious benefactors or protectors)
  282. Public displays of affection, PDAs
  283. Pushy bottom
  284. Rape (single assailant; gang rape; partner rape)
  285. Rape recovery
  286. Religion (sin; faith and lack of faith; priests, monks, nuns, etc; shamans; biblical characters; angels and demons; gods and goddesses; saints; monastic or convent culture)
  287. Rescue (danger and rescue in general, e.g., abductions)
  288. Restraint (pinning someone down; pushing someone’s arm up behind their back during sex; covering or clasping someone’s hands to prevent movement)
  289. Restraints (handcuffs, leather ties, chains, etc)
  290. Restraints, full-body (stocks; suspension harnesses; fisting slings; rape racks)
  291. Reversal of role or fortune (loss of love, power, rank, etc; hunter becomes prey, master becomes slave; a strong character is made weak; role-reversal games; Flowers for Algernon scenario)
  292. Rimming or tongue-fucking
  293. Rogues (outlaws, highwaymen, mercenaries, pirates, gangsters, hitmen, etc; black sheep and royal bastards; Han Solo characters; tricksters; see also Violent and dark natures and Rough behavior)
  294. Romance (see Love and passion; Courting; Seduction)
  295. Ropework (intricate/artistic erotic bondage)
  296. Roughnecks (cowboys; Tarzan figures; relatedly rough characteristics and behavior, such as scruffiness, rudeness, crude language, uncouth habits, etc; see also Lady and the Tramp pairings; Primitivism; Rogues)
  297. Rough sex (quick and dirty sex; hate or grudge sex; angry sex; fighting/wrestling; jackhammer fucking; sex with no or little lube)
  298. Sadism or sadomasochism
  299. Sandwich sexual position or chain fuck (threesome)
  300. Scars or scarification
  301. Scent as an erotic element
  302. Schmoop
  303. School themes and fetishization (boarding schools; dojos; scholarly gowns and uniforms; sailor fuku; prep school chic; teacher/student pairings; donnish or professorial characters; prefects/head boys; caning; schoolboy hijinks or sexual discovery; military academies; tutoring and teaching in general; see also Conditioning)
  304. Secret admirers
  305. Secret identity (superheroes, slayers, immortals, mutants, etc; disguised gender; spies)
  306. Secrets, other (dark or criminal past; double lives; previous marriage and/or children; unspoken feelings)
  307. Seduction (one-on-one; two-on-one; verbal or physical; intense erotic courtship or teasing; see also Courting)
  308. Sensory overload or enhancement
  309. Sex change (gender swap; forced feminization; transgender people; see also Gender themes)
  310. Sex in public or semi-public places
  311. Sex in vehicles (cars, taxis, limos; planes or space shuttles; motorcycles; carnival rides)
  312. Sex is interrupted
  313. Sex on, against, or under furniture
  314. Sex on horseback
  315. Sex outdoors/outside (in a field; in a rainstorm; with snow falling; on the beach; in a graveyard; in an alley)
  316. Sex slaves or mates (concubines, catamites, etc)
  317. Sex standing up (including against a wall)
  318. Sex with aliens (xenophilia)
  319. Sex with clothes still on or partly on
  320. Sexual appetite or excess (hypersexuality, i.e., high sex drive; sex addiction or compulsive behavior; short/no refractory period; multiple orgasms; multiple partners; indiscriminate sex or sluttishness)
  321. Sexual discovery (of one’s orientation; of new kinds of pleasure; of one’s partner)
  322. Sexual experience or expertise (high number of partners; wide variety of sexual experience; demonstrating experience by taking the lead in sex or teaching one’s partner)
  323. Sexual frustration (orgasm denial or being unable to come; blue balls; enforced abstinence; self-denial; inability of two people to touch)
  324. Sexual hang-ups
  325. Sexual movements (back arching; hips lifting; thrusting back; writhing, jerking, bucking; clenching; grinding or rocking; trembling or shivering; hooking legs around shoulders; pressing someone’s legs back toward the bed; riding someone’s fingers)
  326. Sharing (sharing a beer bottle, joint, or bucket of popcorn; loaning someone clothes; a character letting someone stay in their home; sharing confidences; sharing a sexual or domestic partner)
  327. Shower sex
  328. Shyness (embarrassment; blushing or stammering; body shyness or dysmorphic disorder; cultural modesty)
  329. Skirts being blown into the air (either accidental or deliberate)
  330. Silence (slave silence; silence as an erotic element in sex; trying to be silent during semi-public sex; going nonverbal or speechless with arousal; traumatic mutism; selective mutism; sign language; gestures used to convey feelings rather than words; see also Clams)
  331. Simultaneous orgasm
  332. Situational engineering (the conscious or unconscious manufacture of events that give an emotional or sexual pay-off which can’t be otherwise achieved; in particular, perilous situations; for example, character A puts himself in danger in order to receive fussy attention from character B; pay-off can be simply seeing someone, or hurt/comfort touching, intimacy, adrenaline sex, etc)
  333. Situational homosexuality
  334. Sixty-nining (69)
  335. Size queens
  336. Slavery (see Master and slave)
  337. Sleep and bedding themes (sharing a bed by necessity, such as in a hotel with only one room left; sharing a sleeping bag for warmth; sex while drowsy or sleeping; sex as a sleep aid; autonomic arousal from proximity; morning wake-up sex, falling asleep against someone’s shoulder; watching someone sleep; dreams; nightmares; dream lovers, e.g., succubi; exotic or romantic beds, e.g., canopied; furs as bedding; silk sheets)
  338. Slow and/or prolonged sex
  339. Smarm (intense friendship with physical closeness but no actual sex)
  340. Smiles or laughing
  341. Snarf
  342. Society (social mores and morality; laws; institutional regulations such as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell; elaborate rituals or ceremonies; social events such as feasts and parties; decorum; formal or deferential modes of address; see also Witnesses)
  343. Spanking (over the knee or lap, etc)
  344. Special powers and skills (superhero powers; magical powers; telekinesis; shapeshifting; hyperdeveloped senses; combat expertise; sharpshooting; eidetic memory; computer hacking skills; thief skills; temporary gifts of power from drugs, alien devices, etc, repercussions of which could include delusions of godhood, dangerous physical or mental overload, and so on)
  345. Spooning
  346. Sports themes and fetishization (sports rivalries; uniforms and jock-straps; wrestling and sweaty exertion in general; locker-room or shower scenes; team gang-bangs; swimmer/surfer body types; pool and billiards games)
  347. Stocking feet (with or without seams on the tip, opaque or transparent, whether it shows the toes or not)
  348. Straight or straight-acting partner(s)
  349. Straight-guy sexual scenarios (comparing dick size; lending a helping hand; circle jerks; watching het porn together, with or without masturbation; practicing dancing, kissing, or romantic conversation in preparation for one character having a date with a woman)
  350. Straitjackets (with the character being in a padded cell, often being committed as crazy when she is not, and struggling)
  351. Striking with implements (whips, belts, riding crops, canes, paddles, etc)
  352. Striptease
  353. Submission (obedience; submissive behaviors such as boot kissing, crawling, keeping one’s eyes lowered, or kneeling for master; believing in cultural dictates of submissive behavior; abasement in general)
  354. Surprises
  355. Swallowing (come)
  356. Swords and sword-play
  357. Talking and communication issues (dirty talk or verbal seduction; sweet talking; reciting poetry; talking someone to orgasm; talking during sex; pillow talk; phone sex; speech becoming broken as one is aroused or upset; being inarticulate or articulate; aphasia; talking fast; miscommunication and misunderstandings in general; lack of a shared language; see also Silence; Clams; Voice fetishization)
  358. Taste as an erotic element
  359. Tattoos (decorative, symbolic, or slave; barcodes)
  360. Teasing or tickling
  361. Techno (technophilic themes; artificial humans; character is copied or downloaded into mechanical host body; other ghost in the machine scenarios; androids and cyborgs as sexual partners; wetwear enhancements; cyberpunk aesthetic; VR or Matrix scenarios; see also Otherness)
  362. Telepathy (see also Bonds and mental abilities; Special powers and skills)
  363. Temperamental personalities (driven or obsessed; hot-tempered or testy; moody; misanthropic or bitter; abrasive)
  364. Tentacle sex
  365. Threesomes (M/F/M, M/M/M, etc)
  366. Tights/pantyhose
  367. Toe socks
  368. Top/bottom pairings (also seme/uke)
  369. Topping
  370. Topping from the bottom
  371. Touching (stroking and caressing; cuddling or nuzzling; huddling for warmth; hugging; holding hands in public; touching as UST; brief brushes of contact either deliberate or accidental; PDAs; thighs brushing under a table; comic physical entanglements; someone gripping a wounded character’s hand)
  372. Toughness (machismo or hyper-masculinity; physical stamina; a hard surface covering an inner softie; resolve; survival skills; teeth-gritting acts such as pulling an arrow out of one’s own thigh, etc; see also Rough behavior; Bad boys, etc)
  373. Toys and devices (sex toys of all kinds; feathers, ice cubes, hot wax, etc)
  374. Tragic flaws
  375. Trapped or stranded together (on another world; on a desert island; in a cave-in; in a cabin during a snowstorm; in an elevator)
  376. Triangles (love triangles)
  377. Triangulation of desire (two men express their desire for each other through a female intermediary; sexual rivalry for a woman is actually homoerotic interest)
  378. Trust and vows (promises are kept or broken; loyalty or betrayal; absolute trust or doubt; fidelity or infidelity; blindfolds or bondage as trust symbols; commitment or fear of commitment; acts of devotion; marriage vows; unconditional love; blood brothers and oaths; showing trust/faith in someone’s abilities)
  379. Underage partner or chan (adolescent)
  380. Underdogs
  381. Undressing (undressing in front of someone for the first time; one character undressing another; fumbling clumsily to get undressed; stripteases)
  382. Urgency for sex (begging to suck cock; desperate to fuck; greedy bottom)
  383. UST (unresolved sexual tension)
  384. Vaginal/female genital fetishization (wet, tight; virginal; aching/stiff clit; wide lips; multi-orgasmic)
  385. Vaginal penetration (e.g., deep dicking)
  386. Vaginal penetration with foreign objects
  387. Vampires
  388. Violence (see Conflict; Death)
  389. Violent feelings (hatred; murderous rage; need for revenge)
  390. Violent and dark natures (sadists; assassins and murderers; sociopaths who make twisted, scary displays of affection, conflating love and violence; criminals and villains in general; characters who are ruthless, merciless, casually vengeful; soulless demons or vampires; monsters in general)
  391. Virgins or inexperienced partners
  392. Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone’s ear)
  393. Vorarephilia (being eaten alive; more specifically, being swallowed whole, unlike cannabalism, though the two may cross, such as in the case of “Hard Vore.”)
  394. Voyeurism and vision themes (character A secretly watches B and C have sex; character A is forced to watch B and C have sex; character A watches character B perform/masturbate; viewing one’s beloved in general; taking pictures or video; eye contact, especially as flirting; establishing authority with a look; closing eyes as a trust gesture; character A feeling that character B truly sees him, when no one else does; the quality of light, e.g., characters lit by moonlight or candlelight, or gilded by the setting sun; being in the dark; temporary or permanent blindness; gazes as objectification)
  395. Vulnerability
  396. Warriors (see Heroes; Amazons and strong women; Toughness; Primitivism; Rogues; Military fetishization)
  397. Washing (washing one’s partner, body or hair; bubble baths; shower scenes; slave service in bath; cleaning/cleansing someone who’s been raped, degraded, or who is injured)
  398. Watersports (playing with pee)
  399. Weapon fetishization (gun fu; trademark weaponry: Lara Croft’s dual pistols, Duncan’s katana; exotic weapons: war fans, whips; embedded: Wolverine’s claws; magical/symbolic: Sting, Excalibur, Narsil; sentient or empathic; hiding a multitude of weapons on one’s body; concealment in general: derringer in garter, boot knife; see other individual listings; Military fetishization)
  400. Well-fucked (being fucked out; fuck-dazed; sated and sleepy; wrecked; softened and debauched)
  401. Western scenarios and fetishization (cowboy gear; campfire and trail scenes; horses; gunslingers, lawmen, card sharps, etc; train robberies and bank hold-ups; posses; saloon brawls)
  402. Wet dreams or erotic dreams
  403. Wet and Messy / WAM (covering yourself and / or others in something messy – food, slime, mud; getting wet while fully clothed; does not directly involve bodily fluids)
  404. Wish-fulfillment
  405. Wings (wingfic)
  406. Witnesses (families, friends, or others watch the development of a relationship; play matchmaker or serve as confidants; think the characters are involved when they’re really not; constitute the public eye; disapprove, gossip, give advice; are the audience for a coming out drama; are witnesses to such things as flirting, public arousal, public sex)
  407. Woke up gay
  408. Worry (one character worrying anxiously about another; going crazy with worry)
  409. Writing (love letters or notes; secret admirers; e-mail and chat; wills; poetry; storytelling; tracing words or figures on skin, or writing, as with an inkbrush)
  410. Lapdances

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