All the Orgasms, Please! pt. 3

1280-penguin-kama-sutra

by Randall S. Frederick

Cont. from part 1 and part 2

U-Spot Orgasm or “Squirting”

Probably the most contested kind of orgasm on this list, as many women say they either do not believe a woman can “squirt”, that they think they are peeing/urinating and not orgasming (and will immediately stop all sexual activities to prevent themselves from “peeing”), or say that they find the idea of a woman “squirting” to be offensive.

The first time a partner “squirted” on me, I was very surprised. I had head about squirting, but was not expecting it to happen. It was very low-intensity (she didn’t squirt across the room like adult movies would have you believe). Ladies – please understand most of the time, if your partner knows what is happening, they will be very flattered to experience an orgasm with you this way. I certainly was. We talk a lot about the joy of having our own orgasm, but there is a tremendous joy in knowing we are able to satisfy our partner. If you approach your partner and tell them directly you would like to try achieving a “u-spot” orgasm, they will likely be 100% on board with that and do what they can to help you get there.

The reason this type of orgasm is referred to as a “U-spot” is because it involves the urethra. Yes, the pee hole. However, you are not peeing. Numerous studies have been done with “squirting” and while yes, there are traces or urine in the “ejaculate” or prostatic fluid, this is because a “U-spot” orgasm involves prostatic fluid from the Skene’s Glands forcefully rushing out through the urethra. In other words, there are traces of urine, but the fluid is not urine. It is prostatic fluid. Similarly, there are sometimes traces of urine in male ejaculate/sperm, which – sidetone – could contribute to urinary tract infections if you do not immediately clean the vagina post-coitus.

The “U-spot”, then, is a small patch of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening. It is absent just below the urethra, in the small area between the urethra and the vagina. Less well known than the clitoris, its erotic potential was only recently investigated by American clinical research workers. They found that if this region was gently caressed, with the finger, the tongue, or the tip of the penis, there was an unexpectedly powerful erotic response.

The urethra is surrounded on three sides by the clitoris because your clitoris is much deeper and larger than most people think. The clitoris is often thought of as a “nub” or “button” under the clitoral hood, but – much like the male testes – are connected through a series of deeply imbedded nerves throughout the pelvis region. The clitoris is actually three to five inches deep (which is ginormous when you think in terms of body mass and how much space this involves when seen in terms of the the tightly compacted tissues of the pelvis). When the U-spot is stimulated, the erectile tissue surrounding the opening engorges with blood, thus triggering the Skene’s Glands to produce prostatic fluid and you to become aroused. This fluid, again, is ejaculated in differing amounts and at differing intensities (“squirting”), depending on a number of factors including strength of the keels and pelvic region. This is what is often referred to as “female ejaculation” or “squirting.”

Since we are talking here about female ejaculation, it is important to point out that in the male, the urethral tube delivers both urine and seminal fluid containing sperm. In the female it is usually believed that it delivers only urine, but (as stated previously) this is not the case. When there is an unusually powerful orgasm, some females may emit a liquid from their urethral openings that is not urine. There are specialized glands surrounding the urethral tube, called Skene’s glands, or para-urethral glands, similar to the male’s prostate, and under extreme stimulation they produce an alkaline liquid that is chemically similar to male seminal fluid. Women who experience ejaculation (which ranges in quantity from a few drops to a few tablespoonfuls), sometimes imagine that the extreme muscular exertions of their climactic moments have forced them into involuntary urination, but this is simply because they do not understand their own physiology. Nor, incidentally, have some medical authorities, who insist that ejaculating women suffer from ‘urinary stress incontinence’ and have, in times past, suggested operations to cure this experience.

It is not clear what the value of this female ejaculation can be, as its occurrence is clearly a little late to act as an aid to lubrication. Vaginal lubrication is, in fact, already carried out by the walls of the vagina themselves, which rapidly become covered in a liquid film when female sexual arousal first begins. Because of this, some sexologists posit that female ejaculation can immediately prepare the woman for more sexual activity since she has just experienced an especially intense orgasm and is at a heightened state of physical aroused to continue coitus (similar to Multiple Orgasms).

Multiple

While multiple orgasms are more often associated with women because of the refractory period in respective genders, according to the 1948 and 1953 studies by Alfred Kinsey, 14% of females in the sample reported regularly responding with multiple orgasms, (p. 375, Female) and 15-20% of males in their teens and twenties reported that they were capable of repeated orgasm in a limited period of time. Kinsey stated that most men lost this capacity by age 30 or 40, (p. 233, Male). It would be more accurate to say that women, over the course of the life span (and especially as they get older and more used to their bodies and sexual experiences), tend to experience multiple orgasms more often.

Multiple orgasms come in two forms: sequential (one right after the other, with rest time in between) and serial (one right after another).

Using a variety of techniques, stimulants, or fantasies is what can bring you to more easily achieve the multi-magic. If multiple orgasms are your goal, then once you’ve reached your first orgasm, take a second, regroup, breathe, and then try to have another.

I recommend reveling in the rushing endorphins after one orgasm and then reapplying a building pressure to that same spot, whether it be your clitoris that is already erect, your anus, or the walls of your vagina.

How do you “go to there“? Enticing your body to have multiple orgasms will definitely require some down time for self-exploration. Some of us are hard-wired to have difficulty experiencing even one orgasm, let alone multiple. If this is you, know that you are not alone. Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.), a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and Assoc. Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University writes that

Although it is uncommon for women to experience many orgasms in a row, some women do have the experience of having orgasms with ease and with a higher than average frequency.

Women’s ease of orgasm may be influenced by a number of factors including feeling relaxed, open to pleasure, unafraid to let go, and able to focus on the physical or emotional sensations that enhance your arousal.

Ease of orgasm can be influenced by other factors, too. For example, some research suggests that women who feel comfortable about how their genitals look tend to find it easier to orgasm.

The type of sexual stimulation can also affect a woman’s orgasmic ability. For example, some women may find that they can easily have 5, 10 or more orgasms when they use a vibrator for sexual stimulation, but that they cannot have any orgasms, or only have one, from oral sex or vaginal penetration.

Finally, although you may hear stories about how hard it is for many to orgasm once, let alone multiple times, let me reassure you that although that’s true, it doesn’t mean that your goal isn’t worth considering.

Blended

Blended orgasms are when more than one area is being stimulated at the same time and, together, bring about an orgasm. Simple as that. One hand here, a mouth there, a leg wrapped tightly around and pulling you closer – whatever gets you there. In my experience, as I’ve said multiple times already, each individual body is different from another so the best thing to do is find sensitive areas of arousal on your partner’s body and stimulate those areas. This is not the same experience as a “zone” orgasm, but a combination of stimulating a “zone” areas, or a “zone” area and direct contact with the genitals.

Again, as I said elsewhere, kissing me behind my left ear makes me highly aroused and susceptible to orgasm. Direct contact with that part of my neck/head and stimulation of the more traditional areas of stimulation almost ensures it. In the past, I have found that massaging my partners breasts and nipples while using a sex toy, vibrator, or penis on the vagina can produce an orgasm (not always), or penetrating the anus while stimulating the vagina or even breasts can also produce an orgasm relatively quickly (though, again, not always). Sometimes, it has been as easy as pressing against a woman and stimulating her clitoris. Sex is about pleasure, connection, and many other wonderful things — but sometimes, sex is also about getting the job done and releasing the sexual energy within your body quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

Some experts say this small, spongy area above the front vaginal wall is a myth. Otherwise known as the Graffenberg spot, it is, according to Lelo, “the most mysterious of erogenous zones. For some, it’s downright mythical, with the big G’s mere existence still subject to ongoing debate. Try telling that to the estimated 30% of women reporting that they achieve their orgasms through penetration alone.” In other words, it doesn’t really matter if you believe it or not — what matters is this: If applying pressure to this mysterious area in your body feels fantastic, then go for it.

Desmond Morris writes that

The G-Spot, or Grafenberg Spot. This is a small, highly sensitive area located 5-8 cm (2-3 inches) inside the vagina, on the front or upper wall. Named after its discoverer, a German gynaecologist called Ernst Grafenberg, it is sometimes romantically referred to as the Goddess Spot. Research into the nature of the female orgasm, carried out in the 1940s, led to the discovery that the female’s urethral tube, that lies on top of the vagina, is surrounded by erectile tissue similar to that found in the male penis. When the female becomes sexually aroused, this tissue starts to swell. In the G-spot zone this expansion rebults in a small patch of the vaginal wall protruding into the vaginal canal. It is this raised patch that is, according to Grafenberg, ‘a primary erotic zone, perhaps more important than the clitoris.’ He explains that its significance was lost when the ‘missionary position’ became a dominant feature of human sexual behaviour. Other sexual positions are far more efficient at stimulating this erogenous zone and therefore at achieving vaginal orgasms.

It should be pointed out that the term ‘G-spot’ was not used by Grafenberg himself. As mentioned above, he called it ‘an erotic zone,’ which is a much better description of it. Unfortunately, the modern use of ‘G-spot’ as a popular term has led to some misunderstanding. Some women have been led to believe, optimistically. that there is a ‘sex button’ that can be pressed like a starter button, at any time, to cause an erotic explosion. Disappointed, they then come to the conclusion that the whole concept of a ‘G-spot’ is false and that it does not exist. The truth, as already explained, is that the G-spot is a sexually sensitive patch of vaginal wall that protrudes slightly only when the glands surrounding the urethral tube have become swollen. Several leading gynaecologists denied its existence when it was first discussed at their conferences, and a major controversy arose, but later, when it was specially demonstrated for their benefit, they changed their minds. Sexual politics also entered the debate, when certain anti-male campaigners rejected out of hand the idea that vaginal orgasm could be possible. For them clitoral orgasm was politically correct and no other would do. How they have reacted to the recent marketing of ‘G-spotter’ attachments for vibrators is not recorded.

Astonishingly, there have been recent reports that some women have been undergoing ‘G-spot enhancement.’ This involves injecting collagen into the G-spot zone to enlarge it. According to one source, ‘One of the latest procedures to catch on is G-spot injection. Similar substances to those injected into the lips to plump them up can now be injected into your G-spot. The idea is that this will increase its sensitivity and so give you better orgasms.’ This sounds more like an urban myth than a surgical reality, but where female sexual improvements are concerned, almost anything is possible.

To have one, use a circular “come hither” motion and with applied pressure, and massage the area slowly. Don’t be afraid to get your hands a little wet and maximize orgasmic potential by gently kissing the labia at the same time.

 Every body (meaning, quite literally, one body compared to another body) is different and will experience sensations differently. Statistically, if you are one of those people who feels something really good where the G-Spot is described as being located? More power to you and rock it!

A-Spot Orgasm

This is your inner vaginal zone, also known as the anterior fornix. Look for it at the front vaginal wall, up towards your belly-button area. Some say it’s a great pressure point because it can be considered as indirect stimulation of the G-Spot — much like the U-Spot and clitoral hood are indirect stimulation of the clitoris itself. This zone is best explored when you’re quite aroused and your muscles are super-relaxed.

Desmond Morris writes again that

The A-Spot, AFE-zone or Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone, also referred to as the Epicentre, is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder, described technically as the ‘female degenerated prostate.’ (In other words, it is the female equivalent of the male prostate, just as the clitoris is the female equivalent of the male penis.) Direct stimulation of this spot can produce violent orgasmic contractions. Unlike the clitoris, it is not supposed to suffer from post-orgasmic over-sensitivity.

Its existence was reported by a Malaysian physician in Kuala Lumpur as recently as the 1990s. There has been some mis-reporting about it, and its precise position has been incorrectly described by several writers. Its true location is just above the cervix, at the innermost point of the vagina. The cervix of the uterus is the narrow part that protrudes slightly into the vagina, leaving a circular recess around itself. The front part of this recess is called the anterior fornix. Pressure on it produces rapid lubrication of the vagina, even in women who are not normally sexually responsive. It is now possible to buy a special AFE vibrator – long thin and upward curved at its end, to probe this zone.

So far, you will have noticed at least three different orgasms described with a letter preceding them, namely the G-Spot, the U-Spot, and the A-Spot. These are three distinct areas producing, consequently, three different types or orgasm. Students of female sexual physiology claim (perhaps over-enthusiastically) that if these three erotic centers are stimulated in rotation with the clitoris, one after the other, it is possible for a woman to enjoy many orgasms in a single night. It is pointed out, however, that it takes an extremely experienced and sensitive lover to achieve this.

Cervical Orgasm

This is also known as the “deep-spot orgasm” or posterior fornix. It’s similar to the A-Spot in that it responds best to pressure, rather than repeated stimulation. Finding this area is the result of deep penetration.

For some vaginas, this area may be quite sensitive and possibly feel painful rather than pleasurable if the pressure is forced. Many people report experiencing intense orgasms with stimulation of this spot; some say it feels a little like anal sex, which makes sense, as the posterior fornix shares the same nerves as your anus.

P-Spot Orgasm

Because there are so many other letters represented here (the G-Spot, A-Spot, and U-Spot), I wanted to do due diligence and talk briefly about the “P-Spot” orgasm, which is a prostate orgasm typically experienced by male-bodied individuals during anal sex.

The prostate, as discussed previously, can be rubbed and stimulated through the anal passage during sex by male-bodied penetration or “pegging” (typically by female-bodied penetration by way of a strap-on dildo, vibrator, or other sex toy). All of the previous statements made while discussing an “anal orgasm” apply here, as the prostate is stimulated to orgasm.

An important note here, I once again need to point out that an orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. Many men, especially in the kink scene or during BDSM play, can experience a P-Spot orgasm without ejaculating. This is often called a “ruined orgasm” or because it feels very much like an orgasm without the release of an ejaculation. For this reason, it can also be called “edging” because a male can be brought to the point of orgasm and, because of muscle spasms in the pelvic region, orgasm without the ejaculation. Again and again, these are two separate and distinct experiences and can be a tremendously satisfying experience for everyone involved as long as they know what is happening to them.

Fantasy/Mental Orgasm

Fantasy/mental orgasms happen because of stimulation of your biggest sex organ: your brain. These orgasms are brought on via intimate thoughts and exploratory fantasies nestled deep within your mind and can even be experienced involuntarily during sleep. In these cases, a “nocturnal emission” is how we often describe it. The body, awash in chemicals during the relaxed state of sleep, can bring about this involuntary but very pleasurable experience. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of here, it is your body’s way of experiencing pleasure.

During an awake state, a mental orgasm can be experienced (through much training) by prolonged thoughts of previous sexual encounters or fantasies, no touching involved.

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